A musing

Sydney Walk
May 25th 1853

At last, I have set eyes on Boo’s new baby. She looks exactly like a walnut to me, but Boo assures me she is beautiful and so she must be. As soon as I saw her I was brought to tears, wondering if I shall ever have such a bundle of my own. As I gazed down at her on Boo’s lap I thought of Josiah and yearned for a tiny, living image of him to dandle and fuddle with.

I wonder if my fever has not entirely left me.

Villiers seems to be concerned for my well-being. Every time I turn around I find him watching me as one might regard a tottering child near a pond. I have not spoken to him about the Girl or the child, though I am sure he expects me to at any moment. I am saddened by my discovery of his cruelty, but he is far too good a butler for me to lose him over a servant girl. I had not thought him capable of such brutish sentiment, not when he is so meticulous in domestic matters. I wish my eyes had not been opened to his maleness.

Still, I must not let such petty disappointments spoil my plans. I want to take more of a role in the Press now that Boo has a use for both her hands, so I shall call upon Mrs Doughty before the week is over. And I must dine with Papa, for I have been woefully inattentive of him since the fire. If I am not to have a child, or a butler with more than half a heart, I can still be a dutiful wife and daughter. Those qualities are as yet still within my power.

5 thoughts on “A musing

  1. Poor girl, the man she thinks cruel is the only man who’s not doing strange things behind her back and pretending to be something else.

  2. True Viller’s wouldn’t dare. He seems to hate what his master is doing to Effie and is concerned. I feel she is better off not have a child as she is still a child herself. Effie has her blinders on and if she knew what was going on she wouldn’t be able to handle it. Wouldn’t bother her husband just shut the wife away and party as normal. Effie married beneith her and dear Daddy is beside himself with shame of allowing his bubble headed child marry this man. So he soothes his shame by setting up an account for her with the proviso that HUBBY NEVER KNOW! Also he seems to like the idea she has her work at the press that I’m sure he check out to see if it was honest and worth it. Effie has never had to grow up has she?

  3. Aki, Villers is the same guy who is hinted to have abused/molested one of the boys who were picking on Effie. We don’t know this for sure, of course, but whatever he did wasn’t just a spanking, because it truly terrified the other boys. So yes, he too is doing horrible and strange things behind Effie’s back.And TimeZebra… You’re missing some important cues about the true nature of the “press,” I think, and the girls who “work” there. I don’t really want to spoil it for you, but I gathered from the evidence that it’s a prostitution ring, and Effie’s father was excited to become a patron of the brothel!

  4. Ah I forgot that little piece of detail. Yes now that you mentioned it…Even so, Villers seems to be the least bad one of all 3 men.And the ‘press’ is SO suspicious.

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