Sunday April 2nd 1853
I am astounded at Boo’s ingratitude! I sent word to Mrs Doughty that I am back in London and more than ready to welcome LB back into my household. After an hour, which I spent plumping his pillows, arranging his nightgown and telling Dauncey about my adventures at Blindingham, the servant came back without him. Instead of carrying that darling child up to my room, he handed me a note which I could barely read, so blinded was I by tears of bitter disappointment.
It appears that Boo has rallied such that she is able to have her son with her after all. All my little hopes and dreams of skipping with him in the park tomorrow have been dashed on the rocks of Boo’s recovery. I am angry beyond words and only glad that Josiah is not here to see my fury.
Villiers has returned from Mrs Doughty’s and is sweeping about downstairs making sure the staff have kept up his standards in his absence. But I must not confide my feelings in him. He is a servant and a man – both those attributes rob him of the understanding I require.
I shall persuade Dauncey to sleep with me tonight. Oh, that selfish, selfish woman!